The Hiatus

Raining with endless gems,
The creature lives to ignore
The senseless that it abhors
To throw sunshine back and forth.

But time and time again,
It shrinks to see itself.
And all the same depress its livid mind
Into the endless pit of its chest.

For creatures are messy things.
And things are endless void.
And creatures fruiting other creatures,
Is senseless death and birth.

To live by and by with this,
Is why they were born.
So, day and day with this,
The creature goes on and on.

But you are the moon,
That shines with endless beauty.
Unquestionable, unfathomable,
On top of everything else.

And you are the stars,
That live with pointed shapes.
Hurting the imagination.
Living and dying beyond reach.

And then there was me,
An abomination of the creature.
Birthed by your silken skin,
Killed by your apathy!

Can you look at the Sun
Using your mere eyes?
And keep at it till it hides
Under the horizon.
Only to close your eyes
When the moon comes out.
And imagine that one little star
That sums everything you desire.

And you shall live
The rest of your days,
With this same scene
Playing over and over.
And still find that
You are able to smile
And live and be merry.

For indeed, you have killed
All signs of anticipation;
Colored every tinge of red
With black and white.
And sprayed deodorant
Through the lingering
Fragrances of her breath
That inhales and exhales
Not for you…

I thought I was innocent,
But I’m being punished.
I didn’t start this,
But I have to finish it somehow.
I can’t say I didn’t know about it,
But I don’t remember taking part in it.
I get the feeling my freedom cost me dearly,
But I don’t remember selling my soul cheaply.

Hey, hey!
Until I die and say goodbye…
Hey, hey!
…no one will ever catch me.

You probably don’t know the eternal outlaws
Who wander the distant night.

If I cut my wrist
And remove my hand,
Will I die from bleeding?
As I celebrate the pain
Of slowly losing sanity
Amidst the continuous
Draining of blood
From my head?

If I turn this light off
And lurk in darkness,
For all eternity,
Will your hand touch
My cold forehead?
And pray that my soul
May wander
Inside the recesses
Of your ever
Withering heart?

For this specter
That I call self
Is trapped at the center
Of my universe.
While everything else
Is rotating,
Living, loving,
Realizing.
And throwing scattered words
Of age and wisdom.
While I glutton over
Feelings of hate and love,
Over
And over
Again.

The only escape I see
Is to disappear…

Into the placid breeze
Like a speck of cremated dust.
And fly from your nose
To your lungs.
To smell your sentience,
Feel your heart,

And see the world
Through eyes
Of non-existence.

Forever…

You radiate sunshines of happy things!
For are you not everyone’s dear?
The fleeting sweetness of all stings;
The desert wind for ev’ry wandering ear.

I shall be happy of my chance:
I am at luck to have been a friend!
A pleased observer of your ev’ry dance.
A sand in your hourglass you can spend…

April 14, 2007; Saturday; 5:05 PM

Never mind.
Regardless of all the things you could find.
Of discoveries and oblivion.
You are mine only in my mind.

April 14, 2007; Saturday; 5:12 PM

We are made for another.
Yet you cannot be that.
I have all this time bothered.
Anymore, I should not.

April 14, 2007; Saturday; 5:05 PM

Never mind.
Regardless of all the things you could find.
Of discoveries and oblivion.
You are mine only in my mind.

This is familiar.
The same feelings.
The same look in my face.
The same scent of the air.
Everything.
Even the doubt.
Heck, even her reactions.
Is it just how this works?
Or is it me?

I can see now, the epilogue of this story.
Is this gonna be the same epilogue I’m going to experience?
Even when I reincarnate?
Geeezzz.  This life sucks.
Really.

(Note: If you’re not me, you should not be reading this.  I’m not responsible for whatever disenchantment, displeasement, disgust, etc. you’re feeling.  Be responsible and actually read the headers.  OK?  Now, scram!  Don’t ever come back.)