The Hiatus

Raining with endless gems,
The creature lives to ignore
The senseless that it abhors
To throw sunshine back and forth.

But time and time again,
It shrinks to see itself.
And all the same depress its livid mind
Into the endless pit of its chest.

For creatures are messy things.
And things are endless void.
And creatures fruiting other creatures,
Is senseless death and birth.

To live by and by with this,
Is why they were born.
So, day and day with this,
The creature goes on and on.

But you are the moon,
That shines with endless beauty.
Unquestionable, unfathomable,
On top of everything else.

And you are the stars,
That live with pointed shapes.
Hurting the imagination.
Living and dying beyond reach.

And then there was me,
An abomination of the creature.
Birthed by your silken skin,
Killed by your apathy!

Can you look at the Sun
Using your mere eyes?
And keep at it till it hides
Under the horizon.
Only to close your eyes
When the moon comes out.
And imagine that one little star
That sums everything you desire.

And you shall live
The rest of your days,
With this same scene
Playing over and over.
And still find that
You are able to smile
And live and be merry.

For indeed, you have killed
All signs of anticipation;
Colored every tinge of red
With black and white.
And sprayed deodorant
Through the lingering
Fragrances of her breath
That inhales and exhales
Not for you…

How can you chase that star
That shines above your head even at day,
When you know that the skies
Will never admit those who cannot fly?

And even when you grow feathers
And wings and eventually soar,
You see that her light
Exists only in your eyes.

Wake up!
You sleeper and dreamer.
Didn’t you hear?
That the world had this figured out.

Wake up!
A star is no one’s light.
For it shines as ever as bright,
Even without your sight…

You say that we do not come for you
As swiftly as your flowers bloom.
That when we come at all,
You’ve long since thrown the flowers away.

We say that we do not love
This thing that you call love.
And that those that give you splendor
And all things that are pleasant,
Torments us from birth to eternity and back.
And that which you throw away,
We keep even when withered and old.

For you, love is life
While for us, it is death.
For when love knocks on your door
You gain the world
While we lose it.
And that everything
We have earned for a lifetime,
Even that which you despise,
We lose, when we see
The world in your eyes.

Yes, we suffer when we love.
We lose sight of the colors
Of the grass.
We lose love for the sweet smells
Of that which is none of you.
We die a silent death
That we hide behind our wrinkles.
We die to wait until you return.
Until you come and claim us
From our misery.

For indeed we were born for you!

Stand still.
Let me smudge blood to your cheek,
To liven up that pallid complexion
And give you a little of my smell.

Stand still.
Let my fingers stroke your silken hair
And decorate them with my fingers.
Let them be left with your smell.

Stand still.
Love my hands as they crawl through your neck,
To grasp your head closer to mine.
Let me smell your soul.

Stand still.
And welcome the breath of my nose.
As you welcome my soul, numb your brain,
Let your blood rush to your eyes.

Stand still.
As we kiss our way amidst the world.
Amidst the flow of the rivers.
Amidst the roaring thunders.
And the angry tempest of the evening rain.

Not yet knowing
What it means to love,
I try to connect somewhere
With someone, anyone.
On aimless nights, you
Keep sending out a signal of loneliness.

Not yet knowing
What it means to be hurt and such,
I try to be connected by something
To someone, anyone
In the wandering night, you
Keep waiting; a signal of loneliness.

Ah, I wonder why are you out there searching for something?
Ah, I wonder why are you out there afraid of something?
Ah, I wonder what kind of future you’ll have?

I want to find the one I love.
I want to find the one I’m supposed to love.
I want to find her.
Anyone is OK. Quick… Anytime…

Someday, when I’ve realized
What is precious,
Will I, who am no-one in particular,
Be able to meet someone?
In the tomorrow which is still unseen, you
Beat out a signal of loneliness.

Ah, I wonder why are you out there searching for something?
Ah, I wonder why are you out there afraid of something?
Ah, I wonder what kind of future we’ll have?

I want to find the one I love.
I want to find the one I’m supposed to love.
I want to find her.
Anyone is OK. Quick… Anytime…

You know what’s funny with life-predicaments?  They make you want to mess with lyrics.  Heh.

And you don’t seem to understand
A shame you seemed an honest man
And all the fears you hold so dear
Will turn to whisper in your ear
And you know what they say might hurt you
And you know that it means so much
And you don’t even feel a thing

I am falling
I am fading
I have lost it all

And you don’t seem the lying kind
A shame that I can read your mind
And all the things that I read there
Candle lit smile that we both share
And you know I don’t mean to hurt you
But you know that it means so much
And you don’t even feel a thing

I am falling
I am fading
I am drowning, help me to breathe
I am hurting
I have lost it all
I am losing, help me to breathe

Well, in case I’d have to be explicit, I didn’t.

I disdain you like the rain disdains the earth.
    Thus, when I fall, you almost feel that I am hate
  That holds your feet and pulls you towards darkness.
    For thoughts of you, I suffer, as death is fate.

The coldness that I bare since my unwanted birth
    Are like trickles, in time, they come and go.
  But as I fall towards your absent embrace,
    Try might I to shut them tight, still they flow.

They flow and leak towards their hearts and yours
    That freeze memoirs of me for your inspection.
  ’tis there that you might see that I am cold.
    And death, and hate, and forget are my redemption.

So, I now sleep in this bed that I prepared,
    To famish myself of your dances in front of me.
  That I may someday walk your path as I awake.
    And say nothing more than an apology.

If I cut my wrist
And remove my hand,
Will I die from bleeding?
As I celebrate the pain
Of slowly losing sanity
Amidst the continuous
Draining of blood
From my head?

If I turn this light off
And lurk in darkness,
For all eternity,
Will your hand touch
My cold forehead?
And pray that my soul
May wander
Inside the recesses
Of your ever
Withering heart?

For this specter
That I call self
Is trapped at the center
Of my universe.
While everything else
Is rotating,
Living, loving,
Realizing.
And throwing scattered words
Of age and wisdom.
While I glutton over
Feelings of hate and love,
Over
And over
Again.

The only escape I see
Is to disappear…

Into the placid breeze
Like a speck of cremated dust.
And fly from your nose
To your lungs.
To smell your sentience,
Feel your heart,

And see the world
Through eyes
Of non-existence.

Forever…

I said, "I no longer remember your voice."
For I didn’t know it to be this strong.
Clouding the certainty within my choice.
Making me forget why this is wrong.